It's 5:00 AM. Why wouldn't I be awake?
Ok, in all honesty, this isn't routine for me. I mean, I wake up this early when I have work, but having 12-hour shifts means it still happens only a few times a week and not everyday. So why am I awake? Let's tell a happier version of this story first.
I work at a hospital, which means how much I work is directly related to how many patients are admitted to the Med/Surg floor or the ICU. Now most days I go to work like always, keep my desk super organized, and enjoy the chatter of my fellow employees. But once in awhile I get this call at 4:30 AM saying, "Surprise, you're not coming to work today! Spend your time as you will, but don't go too far. You know, just in case we need you later." Usually at this point I am quite happy to oblige. I immediately roll over in bed and look at this next session of sleep as a redo for the night I just tossed and turned, worried about missing my alarm go off and being late.
This is not that day. This is the day where, after I hang up the phone, I'm suddenly insomniatic. Hard as I try, there's no way my mind is letting go of consciousness. So I get up anyway while the town around me sleeps a precious few more hours. It drives me crazy. Granted, I never get tired of pointing out in later conversations how much earlier I have to wake up, giving me a false but very satisfying sense of importance and productivity.
But really, I love my sleep. I absolutely adore my sleep! And this is how I repay myself. It's not even worth it because there's no way I'll start getting things done anytime before 7:00. More likely 8:00. The only things I do this early in the morning are work and jumprope. So with this unique morning occurrence, I've taken to film. Who doesn't like a good movie in the morning? I like it for several reasons.
First, watching movies is most often saved for the late evenings. At the end of the day, after working hard and accomplishing a lot of things we didn't want to do in the first place, we can finally back off and indulge in some entertainment whilst being glued to an inviting sofa. It's a classic schedule. Therefore, pretty much anytime you watch a movie, there's a sense of relief and relaxation to be received. Experiencing this in the morning before most people begin their day, well, that's priceless. You already feel like you have all the time in the world to have a nice full day. I like this because I feel like I'm on top of everything. List is made and tasks are all accounted for, unable to escape.
Second, my dear family saves film viewing for Christmas morning (when we're presented with a large stack of movies we already own on VHS) and long hours of travel. In this instance, movies create a faux air of vacation and endless time to kill. You may realize that this result is very similar to that of the example above. Well let me tell you, this is an important thing for a person who is me. Or I guess like me in some personality traits. Let's delve into my mind a bit. But not too much. No one wants to go there.
My personality is dominated by one thing: organization. Not such a big deal, you say. Now here are some terms associated with and built on that one word. Structure. Perfectionism. Detail-oriented. By the book. Mulitasker. So you see where I'm going with this? When my day starts, it's all lists and doing all the right things in the right order and in the right way. I can get easily stressed when the smallest of glitches comes along, and as if that's not bad enough, I'm now more prone to lose myself emotionally. I don't think I've ever had a day come back from that. If I start crying over something stupid, there's no saving it unless I take a nap and receive the false sense of a new day. (You may be realizing that much of my survival banks on convincing myself of positive things. So whether really there or not, by the end of the day I've made the positive real.)
This whole "Movie in the Morning" thing is actually a fantastic one for me. It creates a sense of calm and control for the rest of my day. So no matter how crazily askew it becomes, I can fix it or simply let it go if I have to. It's like taming myself. I know it's a trick, but I go along with it anyway. You know, for the greater good.
And if I've pre-planned a nap as well, man, I'm definitely going places that day.
Awesome_
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